These cards have been shared in Sunday Worship, taken from the Community Builder deck built by New City Church in Minneapolis:

"Aren't we just policing certain words?"

Reframe: I know changing how I talk will change how I think."

It is not our intention for community builder cards to "police" your language. We don't want you to feel like you're walking on egg shells at church because you don't know the right words or phrases. Instead, these cards are trying to expose deeper underlying beliefs or patterns that have actually hurt people (and show a constructive alternative!)

"Victim"

Reframe: Survivor

A key component of healing for traumatized people is to remember that they have agency. Calling someone a 'victim' connotes that their identity is based off of things that happen to them, while calling them a 'survivor' testifies to strength and resilience.

"Gay lifestyle" or "Sexual preference"

Reframe: "Sexual orientation"

One of the narratives that has oppressed queer people ('queer' is a broad term that refers to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and other identities) is that their identity is a choice. This is why being queer was(/is) considered a mental illness for so long-- because it appeared that queer people were making 'illogical' choices. However, being queer is not a choice, and referring to being gay as a 'lifestyle' or 'preference' implies that it's as optional as, say, having an 'active' lifestyle.